From the Couch:
An Unilegged Perspective
Vol. 3

 

So another week has elapsed. Yesterday was 6 weeks since the accident. Two weeks until I can start therapy. I am starting to look forward to it like a kid waiting for Christmas. The leg status has not changed since last week. The pain is minimal but the circulation is no better. I can’t stand up for more than a few minutes.


EXCUSES, EXCUSES

So if Jeff jumped off a chair, would you jump, too? Many of our readers and friends have made comments like this: "I have to go to this lame party, tonight. You are so lucky, you have the perfect excuse." Have I accidentally blundered upon the Holy Grail of Excuses? Do I now have the skeleton key to open the doors of life? Can I now only do the things I want to do? The answer is YES. Although I would not recommend my methods to anyone, I do have to admit that in a strange way, it has offered me a new type of freedom that I have never experienced before. I am working at home, I set my own hours, and I do not have any obligations from which I can not be excused. There is a lesson here, but darned if I can find it. Wouldn’t it be nice to live this way, but without the broken leg? I for one am going to try it.


THE BODY ODYSSEY

Since October, I have been working on an educational game called "Body Battles." It was for the Children’s Museum of Manhattan for their "Body Odyssey" exhibit. March 18th was the Grand Opening. Dr. Nina and her trained Gimp was there. It was difficult to get around the exhibit because it was so crowded. Bill Nye, the science guy was there as well as the doctor who invented the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella vaccine. The speeches were boring, but the exhibit was cool and there was a lot of excitement in the air. I got to sit in the room with my kiosks and watch all sorts of different people play my game. Watching a young boy figure out how to play it, without being able to read, and then watching his excitement at winning was a truly great moment for me. Afterwards, his father showed up (as he was starting another game) and "explained" it to his son. The son couldn’t have cared less as he navigated the virus up the nasal passages, but the father was having a ball watching his son play. For the first time, I felt true joy at being a programmer. Two seconds later, someone looked at my leg and asked if I was part of the exhibit.


THE VOTES ARE IN…

I have tallied the votes after our reader survey last week…and the findings are startling. After I carefully read through all the responses I came to a decision: I am never asking you people a question again!

But in the spirit of useless statistics and surveys, here are some results.

Leave in the Hardware: 35%

Take out the Hardware: 45%

Get more information: 20%

Summary:

- Twenty percent of those surveyed felt that I should get information on how well the bones have healed and then take the doctors advice as the best course of action. If this seems like a wise idea to you, then you haven’t spent enough time near the medical field lately. Although my surgeon really seemed like he cared about me in the five minutes it took him to rip my fragile limb from its freshly cut cast, he didn’t seem to have a written record anywhere and had no memory of what he had told me before.

- Most of the men seem to have a strong aversion to having anything foreign in their bodies, but the women, in general, seemed more tolerant of such an idea. Our scientists are trying to figure out why.

- One responder seemed to feel that I should do what he wouldn’t. He started his letter, "Personally, I would take it out unless the Docs are fairly certain it will not heal sufficiently." And ends his response, "Anyway, I say leave it in." Did he change his mind over the course of writing the email, or does he have different standards for himself and me.

- And lastly from a paranoid, X-File fan, "Infection is just a myth that the medical-commercial product right wing conspiracy machine has created to spook us into buying Lysol and the like. Don't be fooled by it. Keep the hardware and be the first bionic boy on your block!!!"

With this kind of advice…how can I go wrong?


MAILBAG (a.k.a Jeff’s mail)

Some of our faithful readers have requested that "From the Couch" add some new sections and move to a daily format. Although we lack the staff to become a daily publication, we are considering adding some new sections. What new sections would you like to see in future issues? And for that one crazy woman who loves the newsletter, here is our first addition…

HOROSCOPES

Aries (March 21 - April 19), you may have a party soon. It will probably involve singing.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20), a good time to go for a walk, or try to.

Gemini (May 21 - June 21), be grateful for your duality. It’s good to be balanced on two supports.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22), even though things look bleak don’t consult a doctor!

Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22), go visit your son and cook him a lot of meals. Also, bring gifts.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept. 22), avoid climbing up on chairs at all costs.

Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23), sit down on the couch and relax. Stay there for six weeks.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21), be happy to take care of loved ones. Don’t let it get to you. Getting them another Ginger Ale when you are busy cooking the chicken is no reason to threaten to smack their broken leg, even if they don’t say please and never thank you for helping them shower every day.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21), avoid reading horoscopes.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19), you are doomed to get combined gifts for the rest of your life.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18), a good time to keep both feet on the ground.

Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20), find your own voice. Written communication is key. Keep in touch!

Hi Ho!!
Jeff