From the Couch:
An Unilegged Perspective
Vol. 2

Well, a lot can change in a week. Unfortunately, my circulation problem is not one of those things. However, circulation of this newsletter is improving. Welcome to all new members.

CORRECTIONS: After last weeks newsletter, I warned not to reply to the newsletter for fear of replying to all the people on the list. As several of my geekier reader’s were quick to point out, that was in error. It is safe to reply directly to the newsletter, so have no fear, reply away.

My Nurse the Doctor

I have to take a little space to acknowledge a member of the "From the Couch" staff who often doesn’t get the recognition she deserves (as she frequently points out). This superstar of Care is my wife Nina. If you think this ordeal has been hard on me, imagine what it has been like putting up with me. Nina does all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and fetching that I demand. Her only reward is getting to shower me in my little shower chair. And of course, being the big-headed idiot that makes me so lovable, I give her plenty of complaints, whining and backtalk to make her job that much easier. Luckily for me, we are both still madly in love with each other. But if these newsletters stop abruptly…send help…she has me captive…did you ever see "Misery?"


Tell it to my Heart

I still can not stand up for more than a minute or two without my left foot filling with blood and turning red and then purple. It doesn’t hurt so much, and the colors are awfully pretty, but I can’t help thinking that it can’t be a good sign. I still live on the couch with my leg elevated. I am slowly lowering the elevation, to make my circulation work again. I am currently down to a milkcrate with a pillow on top, so my foot is lower than my waist. This has introduced a new side effect into my life: The Pounding Heart. Friday night was the first time it hit. I went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 12:30 with my heart pounding. It was not going fast, it was just working hard. So hard that I could not relax and go back to sleep. I was awake for several hours before I drifted off finally. Since then, every night I wake up a few times a night with the same result. My doctor (Nina) checked it out and tells me there is no irregular or fast pulse, so I should be okay. My other doctor (Nina’s dad, a Psychiatrist) tells me it is Anxiety. My other doctor (Nina’s mom, a Pediatrician) tells me I am crazy and my nurse (my mom) tells me to eat more bananas (Moms always know best). I just wish I could sleep normally again.


MAILBAG (a.k.a Jeff’s mail)

A lot of the "From the Couch" Faithful have pelted me with questions. But the number one question has to be: "So with the metal plate and 11 screws in your leg, are you going to set off the metal detectors at the airports?" The answer, I’m afraid, is NO. I have researched this on the internet, discovering that many people who have far more hardware than I in their bodies do not set off the detectors. So much for my plans of smuggling a gun in my boot onto a plane and taking it to Cuba. The second question is whether are that hardware is in there forever. The answer is, MAYBE. This leads us to our first reader’s poll…



The Question: Should I have the hardware removed from my leg?

The Facts:

* One of the screws is meant to be temporary. It goes through the small outer bone (Fibula) and slightly into the big inner bone (Tibia). I was first told I would have a surgery around April 5th to remove this one screw, but then my surgeon said most people leave it in. It either breaks off, or loosens up enough that it does not interfere with anything.

* To remove all the hardware, I go for another surgery 6 to 9 months after April 5th. It is a quicker surgery and supposedly I could recover from in a few days. There is the danger of infection however.

* The hardware does add additional support. If my bones do not mend fully, I will run a greater risk of another injury without the hardware.

* If I keep the hardware, I can not have an MRI below my waist and I will need to take penicillin before teeth cleaning because I have an increased risk of bacteria infection around the metal in my body, due to pooling blood.

What would YOU do?

Hi Ho!!